Need a New Car?

If you are filthy rich, then MSN presented today the top 12 cars for you. You can check them out here.

Sadly I'm not in that category, but dreaming is always good.  Going for the Ferrari...."pure sex on wheels" sounds like something I can live with. Did someone say midlife crisis???

Happiness Is a Journey

Haven't we all thought that if this or that happens, or as soon as I complete this or overcome that, I will be truly happy?  

Well, the bad news is that life is full of obstacles and surprises, and we are continuously presented with situations to deal with - both good and bad.  The good news is none of that should keep us from happiness. Being happy is a state of mind, and should also be continuous.  Below, please find my listing of things that define my happiness.  Feel free to add your own. 

Photo by Graur Codrin/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Happiness is:

• Waking up to the smell of breakfast that someone else is cooking for you
• Having a job to wake up to
• Getting an honest opinion about your looks, and suggestions on how to improve it....from your child
• A hug
• Seeing the first flowers bloom in the spring
• Parting with your hard earned money to pay for your house that you share with loved ones, the car that brings your children safely to school and you to work, the power that keeps your house warm in the winter and cool in the summer, the phone that allows you to stay connected to friends and family far away
• Watching the sunrise on the beach
• The smell of a newly bathed baby
• Being rewarded for your good deeds by someone else's success
• Falling in love over and over again with the same person
• Watching your children and knowing they're perfect because they're yours
• A candlelight dinner
• Encouragement when you don't see your own potential
• Recognition when you learn that you can do whatever you set your mind to
• Finding the perfect dress, shoes, purse.....OK this list can get long, you get my drift
• A compliment from those who matters in your life
• Receiving a bouquet of flowers for no special reason
• Finding the perfect gift
• The look of pride on your children's faces when their efforts are praised
• The feeling of accomplishment when you overcome yet another obstacle in life
• A hot bath
• Knowing someone loves you for who you are, just the way you are
• Being reunited with long lost friends
• Girl talk over a glass of wine (or two...)
• A good joke 
• Sisters
• "Me time"  
• Late night swimming
• Knowing your smile and kind words made someone feel special today
• Having friends who laugh with you through good times and make you smile through tears during bad times 
• Celebrating your birthday and being grateful you got to live another year (working on this one....40 was a tough one!!)
• Key Lime Pie 
• A good book, and time to read it
• Watching the rain hit the windows while the wind is howling outside...from a cozy chair inside
• Feeling safe
• A great movie with a happy ending
• Chocolate...mmmmmm!

Photo by Graur Razvan Ionut/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

And so the list goes on and on.  Cherish every moment and every opportunity, or as Father Alfred D'Souza said:

Photo by Dan/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

Dance as though no one is watching you.

Love as though you have never been hurt before.

Sing as though no one can hear you. 

Live as though Heaven is on Earth.

Have a fabulous week!!

Seeking Peace

The last couple of weeks have been full of sorrow and tragedies, both close to home and far away.  A dear friend lost her battle with cancer; a friend's grandmother passed away; my neighbor's friend committed suicide leaving behind his wife and young children.  Then Friday we saw the horrible attacks in Norway leaving over 90 people dead and several wounded, and Saturday we see yet another young artist gone much too soon.  And that is not counting the bad news of crimes in our community. I struggle with finding peace in all of this, but then it helps to write to clear my mind.

Even though losing someone to illness, or having a grandparent, who has lived a full life pass on, is tough and very sad no matter how much it may be expected, it is still part of life. We can go through a grieving process and in the end, live on while cherishing the memories of the person who is no longer with us.

Losing someone to suicide is quite different.  When I was younger, I used to think that taking your own life was such a selfish act. Obviously because I always felt I had so much to live for, and still do.  Although I complain over trivial things, and life is not always what I wish for, I still love life.  Therefore, I find it is so sad that someone cannot find a reason to live, even when they have a spouse and children, but it would be wrong to label suicide a selfish act.  I cannot imagine the despair one must feel when choosing to end ones own life becomes the only option.

Reading about Amy Winehouse's death, was sad, but I think for many, not unexpected.  We have seen many more news stories related to her drug and alcohol use than about her music.  However, she joins a long line of artists whose lives have ended much to early because of drugs. It makes me wonder if we as fans, demand so much of these artists, that fame is too much to handle.  It certainly has made me believe that if presented with the choice, I would much rather be rich than famous.

Photo by Marcus74id/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 Mass murder and terrorist attacks fall in to a whole other dimension. We've certainly seen too many of them here with school shootings, attacks on government buildings, and of course the 9/11 attacks. School shootings seem to have spread around the world taking young victims in schools not only in the U.S., but also in Scotland, Yemen, Canada, Netherlands, Germany, Sweden, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Argentina and Finland. That is most certainly a list I hope will not grow longer.

Countries around the globe have been victim of terrorism; in my book, the most senseless violence.  Terrorism is commonly defined as violent acts which are intended to create fear, are perpetrated for a religious, political or ideological goal, and deliberately target or disregard the safety of civilians.  When searching for a listing of recent attacks, Wikipedia shows one listing from 1800-1899 and one from 1900-1969 both having a complete listing of events on a fairly short page.  However, from 1970 - present, there is one page per year of terrorist attacks, and the list just seem to continue growing. What happened?  Did the world just go mad?

I cannot imagine the grief and pain families who lost loved ones in such attacks must feel, and I pray I never will. We see it in Norway now, as we did here both in 2001, and many times over as children were killed in school shootings.  To have a family member or friend lose their life for an evil minded person or group to prove a point is beyond senseless, and I find it hard to hold on to my belief that there is a meaning with everything, and God has a plan for each of us.  The question always pops up; then why did he not save these people? A question that remains unanswered.

The only thing I hope we don't see, is that we let hate foster hate, and seek revenge in order to move on.  To quote Mahatma Ghandi, "there is no road to peace, peace is the road", and hopefully that is the road we choose.  But the most powerful thing I heard this weekend, was from one of the survivors of the shooting at the youth camp in Norway who in an interview with CNN stated, "if one man can create so much hatred, just imagine how much love we can create together". With that in mind, I hope we never give in to the fear, but rather fight for peace in our own country and communities, and support those around the world that have a much tougher fight than we do.

R.I.P. Amy Winehouse

So sad to see yet another young, talented person gone much too soon. Here from her debut album.

May she rest in peace.

Is Security Out of Control?

In the almost 10 years since the 9/11 attacks, we have seen quite the tightened security at airports and on board planes.  Obviously we want to avoid any further terrorist attacks, but is security a bit out control by now?  You be the judge:

Yukari Mihamae was arrested and charged with a count of sexual assault after allegedly grabbing the breast of a TSA agent after a pat-down.  Honestly, I don't blame her. If you have ever been subjected to a pat-down, you know how thorough they are...not much left untouched. She has taken on a bit of a folk hero status, and searching Facebook, I found 5 pages for her, 1 calling for her conviction, the other 4 to help her.

In Tennesee, a mother was arrested when yelling and cursing at TSA agents after refusing a full body scan and pat-down of her daughter, telling them she "didn't want her daughter's crotch grabbed".

In Destin, Florida, a 95 year old woman in the final stages of leukemia, was asked to remove her adult diaper to complete a pat down search.  Seriously?  I understand not wanting to exempt anyone from the security standards, but do we have to remove all human decency in it all?

ACLU reported in November 2010 that they had received over 900 complaints in November alone over the security measures enforced at airports.   Complaints included the following excerpts:

• “The TSA agent used her hands to feel under and between my breasts. She then rammed her hand up into my crotch until it jammed into my pubic bone.”
• “I cried throughout the groping and have had intrusive thoughts since. It was humiliating.”
• “The procedure was violating, degrading, invasive and humiliating.”
• “It was so rough that I felt the effects of it throughout the day.”
• “I do not feel safer. I feel violated.”

Additional excerpts can be read online at: www.aclu.org/passengers-stories-recent-travel

Some are really fed up, like John Corbett who has filed a lawsuit against TSA for violating his 4th Amendment Rights.  So far there is no ruling in the case, but you can find more information on his efforts here. 

YouTube, is  by now flooded with videos of children being patted down, strip searched, and according to parents - violated by TSA agents. All with the same complaint that TSA is out of control.  A comment posted on one of these videos might be a good measure of what people across the pond is thinking: "That is one of the reason people from civilized countries don't want to travel in that Zionist hellhole."

What are your thoughts?  Do we have a good balance between security at our airports and the passengers' privacy, or has our fears  gotten the best of us allowing security to completely take overhand? 

While pondering that, let me end this with a quote from Benjamin Franklin: "Those who desire to give up freedom in order to gain security will not have, nor do they deserve, either one.”

Male Cheerleader Steals the Show

Male cheerleaders is nothing new.  Male cheerleader in a girly outfit stealing the show?  OK, that's new.  Check him out.

Precautions for Men

With summer upon us, I just want to take the opportunity to remind all men to think about what they are wearing and how they are conducting themselves. 

Think about which signals you are sending out when you walk around with bare arms and legs, your shirt open, sandals on your feet.  With all that bare skin, many women will think you are flaunting what you have and view this as an invitation! You might want to cover up and dress a bit more moderate.  

Photo by Photostock/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Please keep your alcohol consumption to a minimum level.  It is easy to be taken advantage of when you are overly intoxicated and helpless. 

Photo by Idea Go/FreeDigitalPhoto.net

 

After all, women are just women, so please take precautions!  

Have a happy and safe summer!  

Friday Funny

TGIF!  The work week is almost over and I need something to laugh about, so I pulled out a couple of old, but oh so funny commercials.  Enjoy.

 And while we're at it, let's have some fun with Viagra too :-)

Have a great weekend!!

SLOW DANCE

 This is one of my favorite poems, written by David L Weatherford. You can find more of his writings here.

Photo by Tom Curtis/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Slow Dance 

Have you ever watched kids On a merry-go-round? Or listened to the rain slapping on the ground?	Ever told your child, We'll do it tomorrow? And in your haste, Not see his sorrow?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight? Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?	Ever lost touch, Let a good friendship die Cause you never had time to call and say, 'Hi'
You better slow down. Don't dance so fast. Time is short. The music won't last.	You'd better slow down. Don't dance so fast. Time is short. The music won't last.
Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask: “How are you?” Do you hear the reply?	When you run so fast to get somewhere you miss half the fun of getting there.
When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head?	When you worry and hurry through your day, It is like an unopened gift.... Thrown away.
You'd better slow down Don't dance so fast. Time is short. The music won't last.	Life is not a race. Do take it slower Hear the music before the song is over. David L Weatherford

I Belong To You

Absolutely love this song!! (Even if I only understand half of it...)  So in my "perfect" single world, I'm just missing somebody to sing this with.

Enjoy!

 

Does Alone Equal Unhappiness?

There was a time when I thought I could not be happy without being in a relationship, and I would bend over backwards to make the relationship work, thinking that "we just hit a rough spot", and "it'll work out".  Well that didn't happen, and after a breakup that rendered quite the blow to my self esteem, I stayed off the dating scene for longer than I care to admit.  But that was just the remedy I needed.

After licking my wounds for a while, I figured out I was just fine on my own.  I already took care of all the practical things in my life.  I slowed down my social life, and went out with girlfriends and enjoyed dinners and girlfriend talk.  Sure we had an occasional night out, and sure we flirted and played the scene, but that's also where it ended.  I finally looked at myself in the mirror and realized that I did not need a man in my life.  I admit it took a while, but I finally felt content with my life, just the way it was, and I felt confident in myself, and my own ability to create happiness in my life.  For me, that was a huge realization.

So now that I am happy and content being single, does that mean I have shunned men and will never be in another relationship? Not at all. But it does mean that I will not settle.  Knowing that I am perfectly fine on my own, means that I will welcome others in to my life, and should I fall in love, I will welcome that too (what feeling is better than being in love?!?), but not being in a relationship, will never again make me feel incomplete.

Photo by Salvatore Vuono/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Being the content, independent, single woman, I have had quite a few discussions on relationships lately. Funny how that is, when you are not in one, you somehow become the expert on what a perfect relationship should be. Question is, does the perfect relationship exist? I guess that depends on how you define it.

When I say I will not settle, it doesn't mean I think I will ever find myself in a relationship where every day seems perfect, with no disagreements and no uncertainties.  It means I will only be in a relationship with a man who is perfect for me. One I enjoy coming home to, who enjoys talking to me and spending time with me - not necessarily doing much, just being together. One who makes me feel beautiful when I see myself as an old hag, and who I make feel the same way. One whose hug can take away all the worries and make everything seem perfect. One who fights fair and can accept apologies when things settle. One I trust to know everything about me, even the things I might not be proud of, and who trust me enough to share his vulnerable side.  In short, a true partner.

That is my definition of perfect.  Yours may be quite different, and who am I to judge that?  OK, unless you completely disagree with me, I won't judge, but there are a few things I can't keep quiet about. Some things are, in my opinion, clear signs that you settled:

• If your partner's presence just irritates you, and he/she can't do anything right in your eyes, it's probably not the relationship of your dreams
• If you define your partner as "perfect" because he/she keeps you out of trouble, but that is the extent of anything good you can say about him/her - probably not the person you want to grow old with
• If it takes you days to figure out how to tell him/her that you broke something in the house or car because you are afraid of his/her reaction....No. Can't see the partnership being very strong.

• If you have sex because you feel "you have to". Really? Then obviously there is something wrong, especially if the relationship is fairly new. The "have to" should never be part of a new relationship - that is the "exploration period" when you figure out what works and what doesn't, and get to know each other's bodies and what makes the other person tick.  I understand that things cool down after a while, but even then, the comfort of being with your partner who truly knows you should keep the "have to" out of the vocabulary when it comes to sex. I have a lot to say about this, but I did not intend to discuss sex here, so let me just post this link, and you can figure out yourself why this is not good. 
• If income level creates a "hierarchy" in the relationship - then obviously at least one does not view the other as an  equal partner
• If you share no interests and have nothing to talk about - then why on earth are you together?

Let me make it clear, I am just voicing my opinion and have no expertise at all re. relationships other than my own experiences.  And if people chose to settle for less than they dreamed of or hoped for, that is their choice. I, however, will not, because I am complete as just me, and I don't need to.

Things I Don't Like About Summer

I generally love summer time.  Longer days, sunny, warm weather, lazy mornings, no school for the kids, fun festivals and outdoor concerts, a cold drink on the balcony in the evening, vacations and all the other great stuff we tend to save for summer. But there are some things I just don't like. So here is my list of summer things I can do fine without:

• The extra frizzy hair from the humidity - yep, pretty much reliving the 80's 

• Tanning lines where there were no bathing suit... guess I didn't get rid of all the rolls in time for bathing suit season

• People having rendezvous on the beach and leaving condoms behind....which my son subsequently finds and pics up with a "Look at this mom, what a cool looking balloon!"  

Photo by Scottchan/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

• Speedos.  Really, they should  be reserved for swimming competitions. Period!

• Frigid air conditioners.  If it is 90 degrees outside, we really do not need to cool down to 65 degrees inside!

Photo by Christian Meyn/FreeDigitalPhotos.com

• Mosquitoes.  They love me!  It is not mutual!!

Photo by Matt Bank/FreeDigitalPhoto.net

• Sightseers in rental cars.  If you really want to see the place, hop on a tourist bus or walk. Don't hold up traffic because you want a picture of whatever building...some of us have things to do and places to get to.

• Ice cream...just kidding.  I could never make it a whole summer without ice cream, or winter for that sake.  That is just wishful thinking!

Salvatore Vuono/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Photo by Salvatore Vuono/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Hope you are all enjoying your summer so far!

Betty Ford Dies At 93

I can't think of any other woman who has dared to use her public position to front more personal, and often difficult issues than Betty Ford.  Lukcily her work will live on in the many organizations she has help found or supported during her life time.

As a new First Lady, she certainly made some waves in the early 70's for speaking candidly about issues like abortion, premarital sex and equal rights, as well as publicly discussing her diagnosis of breast cancer. Successfully so, though, and earning quite an approval rating amond the American people.  But to then take the step to publicly reveal and openly discuss her own addiction to alcohol and pain killers took some real guts.  Where others would hide out and hope their "faults" would not be discovered by the public, she openly spoke about her illness, and after recovering, continued her work for adequate treatment for alcohol and drug addictions.   Obvious today by the condolences by celeberties who have sought treatment at the centers she co-founded, The Betty Ford Centers has helped countless people so far, and will continue to treat addicts in years to come.

I think we can all learn something from how she lived her life, both privately and publicly.  May her legacy live on, and may she rest in peace.  

The Final Launch

At 11:26AM today, Atlantis is set to launch for its final trip before the space program is retired, and Atlantis is placed in a museum.

So if you are not in Florida, turn the TV on and follow the live coverage of the launch. We may very well not see another one in our lifetime.

Casey Anthony Verdict an Outrage or Justice?

I am jumping on the bandwagon on this one, but not with the outrage that most seem to have over the not guilty verdict handed down in the Casey Anthony murder trial. 

Do not get me wrong, I am not choosing sides. A young child was murdered, and there can be no winners in this case. 

I find Ms. Anthony's actions strange and bizarre from a mother's point of view, and obviously have the same suspicions as every one else. How can you possibly go a month without reporting your child missing? And how could you go out partying and have a great time (or at least look like it), if you don't know where your child is?  There are many things that point towards her guilt, but the question is, was it proven beyond any reasonable doubt?

Our justice system may not be perfect, but it is working, and I think it is in everyone's best interest to keep the high standards we do have today.  With the changes we have seen over the past few decades in the authorities' ability to prove their case with DNA evidence, electronic evidence etc., there is no reason we should ever lower the standards a guilty verdict must meet. 

According to Innocence Project, 245 wrongly convicted people have been freed after DNA evidence became available. One of these, James Baines, from Florida, served 35 years behind bars for a rape he did not commit, before being freed in 2009. I would hope the State of Florida would not make such a mistake again. It is for these cases we should be glad to see the courts adhere to the high standards of proof.

Strangly I am finding that I all of a sudden share opinions with people seemingly far from my liberal self.  Jeffrey Scott Shapiro with Fox News calls the verdict a "Victory for the Constitution". Looking at little Caylee's picture, it doesn't feel like a victory, but after reading his opinion, I do actually agree with him.  

According to Mr. Shapiro, "Florida criminal case jury instructions say that, “a reasonable doubt is not a mere possible doubt, a speculative imaginary or forced doubt . . . on the other hand, if after carefully considering, comparing and weighing all the evidence there is not an abiding conviction of guilt, or, if having a conviction, it is one which is not stable but which waivers and vacillates, then the charge is not proved beyond every reasonable doubt and you must find the defendant not guilty because the doubt is reasonable. It is to the evidence introduced in this trial, and to it alone, that you are to look to that proof.”

In layman's terms, jurors must render their verdict only on the evidence presented to them in court and they cannot to let their imagination or speculation guide their decisions. In this case the jurors honored those instructions. They complied with the law." You can find the full article here.  Bottom line is, the evidence presented did not meet the high standards of the law, and the jury did what they were asked to do.

Whether we think the verdict is right or not, I do hope that we can respect the justice system. I cringe when I see comments like "they better have an escape plan for her when she is released".  Why should they?  She was tried, and found not guilty.  We need to accept that.  

Or to quote Pastor Chris Braun who speaks of forgiveness and seeking God in instances like this; "Scripture repeatedly warns us against taking revenge, again see Romans 12:19.  You may let yourself off the hook by saying, “There is no possibility of me taking revenge on Casey Anthony,” to which I would respond, “Don’t you think that some of the people writing about Casey Anthony are taking revenge? It would seem that some are trying to pay Casey Anthony back if no other way than through Tweets. Or is it just my imagination?” Forgiveness may not be on everyone's mind with regards to Casey Anthony, but Pastor Braun's blog post is worth reading. You can find it here.

My thoughts and prayers go out to little Caylee.  May she rest in peace.