Motherhood Is Not For Sissies

Remember when you were little and playing with dolls, and dreaming of the day that doll would be a real baby?  If you were anything like me and my friends, you graduated to playing with real people, making the youngest one  the baby, the oldest one the mom and so on.  I was fortunate enough to have a playmate who always wanted to be "pregnant". Being the youngest one, I was given the role as the unborn baby, and had to lay under the bed until they decided it was time for me to be born...and they wonder why I'm screwed up.

It took me a while,  but when I hit 30, the clock apparently started ticking really loud, and I decided it was time to become a mom. Beside my choice of who to have babies with, I have never questioned that decision, which really makes me wonder what extra gene women were given to endure the transformation from "put together professional with a perfect life" to .... well, this.

First you go through 9 months of turning the body in to a whale, all while hormones are flying and taste buds are going nuts. I expect that was an experiment to test the dads.  Then, for most, after agonizing hours in pain, you squeeze out this little, screaming thing. The exhaustion of going through labor, the joy of finally being able to get your body back, and the knowledge that you made it and the baby is healthy, is then all bundled in to unconditional love for this little, squirming, wrinkly baby. No matter what she looks like, she's perfect!

Then starts the real fun.  Weeks and months of no sleep. Getting puked on, peed and pooped on, constantly cleaning up dirty diapers, a never ending mountain of laundry (how is that possible with such a little person?!?), and definitely a severe lack of "me time". The reward of seeing your baby grow and getting to know you, changing and learning something new day by day, is all you need to keep on going.

Then comes the toddler years, where you can no longer have anything nice. At least not anywhere close to where she can reach it. Everything is locked up, and starting out, the baby locks are just as effective on adults as the toddler. You might get a full night sleep, but you also need it after spending the day chasing a toddler in every direction, developing the infamous eyes in the neck and an extra set of arms (OK, that might not actually happen). Being a mom should tell any potential employer you're a great multi-tasker...I'm telling you, it's a good thing they make babies and toddlers cute!!

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Yet again, the rewards seem small, but only to the outsider.  A hug or a sticky little kiss from the "princess" will brighten any mom's day.  Sad, little puppy eyes and a single tear, will melt any mom's heart. And the "I love you mom" at the end of the day, makes it all worth it!   

Then they start school, and the fun of trying to fit in, making new friends, learning and being as smart as the next kid starts.  And when everything is not as you hope they would be, mom turns in to teacher, therapist, and most of the time super-mom. You are still bigger than life, and as far as they know, there aren't any problems that mom cannot solve.  We do our best to live up to that!

We teach them manners, right from wrong, the joy of sharing and giving, little tidbits of real life, all while keeping traditions alive with Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. But most importantly, we teach them about unconditional love.

Next they tend to go in to what I refer to as the "awkward" period.  Their looks are changing, and most are either missing teeth or have some that are just too big for their little faces.  Somehow moms start the transfer from supermoms to stupid-moms during this period.  We're definitely good to have around, but unfortunately no longer privileged to every little detail of their lives anymore. Some conversations are now reserved for BFF's and not for mom.

Teenagers?  We are getting awfully close, and all I can hope for at this time, is that princess does not automatically turn in to punk, and that all our embarrassing - if you ask my kids -  talks about life's little mysteries, as well as realities regarding dating, drugs, and growing up in general has stuck in the back of her mind.  I am now the full fledged "stupid mom" - nothing "super" left in this one. I am also old fashioned, totally uncool, know nothing about fashion, and am really only good for driving mom's taxi, paying the bills, cooking and cleaning. Occasionally I am also good for mending a broken heart, breaking up fights, settle arguments and give a little boost to the self esteem. But only very occasionally. The rest of the time, could I just please leave them alone?!? ....the countdown to adulthood has started.

Sadly I don't think 18 is going to be the magic point.  More like 48.  They are my kids, and will forever be more important to me than I am. That is not saying I will forgo my own well being for theirs, but I will never stop worrying, helping when I can, make suggestions and hope they follow them, and...well, be a mom.  The reward will always be in seeing their accomplishments - little or big, their happiness and well being, and of course feeling the everlasting, unconditional love. And that, my friend, is what makes parenthood all worth it!