Happy New Year!

Well, lesson learned yesterday (again...) - drinking beer and plucking eyebrows are two activities that should be done separately!  So I will be leaving 2011 with one slightly raised eyebrow.  However, it is kind of fitting for the year that has been, and I am frankly glad to leave this year behind.

As I have struggled my way through job loss,  some rather difficult personal issues, and loosing friends to illness, I am taking with me the good memories - for through it all, we created many of those with friends and family, new friendships, and the added experiences and confidence that I can handle whatever challenges comes my way. I look forward to starting with a clean slate and having a much easier and more rewarding 2012.

So to the tune of ABBA, I wish you all a happy, eventful and rewarding New Year!  I have vowed to make 2012 the year "to make it happen"; and I wish the same for you!

Dear Santa, I'm Running Out of Wine...

House is cleaned, cookies baked, turkey thawing out, presents wrapped and ready, stocking stuffers stuffed away in the closet....yep we're ready. Everybody else is in bed getting rested for Christmas, and I'm hanging out with my laptop and a bottle of wine...my last one...I might need another one or two to get through the festivities. Hear that Santa?  A bottle of wine, and the right numbers tomorrow night for the lottery...that's all I'm asking for :-)

As I'm getting all the stuff ready for Christmas, and have managed to keep the belief in Santa alive, not one, but both kids decide to pull out a tooth....here we go....where is my cash?  Well the little that's left, is in the bank, and there is no way I'm going out to get money at this hour. Hmmm, wonder if they'll still believe in the tooth fairy if the dollar comes in pennies? Guess we'll find out.  Maybe if I roll them, it'll be more believable? Or I could tell them the truth, but what's the fun in that?  

Really, they might be too old to believe in any imaginary figure at this time, but after spending a decade coming up with every possible story to keep the beliefs alive, there is no way I'm giving it up that easy!  I'll be the one proud mother with kids going in to high school still firm believers in the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, and the Easter Bunny. Unless they actually try to sneak money out of my wallet, where by now I have quite the collection of  teeth....I always wondered how that would look if I got stopped by the police and they for whatever reason wanted to go through my purse. "Ma'am, who do these teeth belong to?"  "Well officer, I keep those as a warning to my children...You know: "Just try to mess with me, and I'll knock yours out too"...

What is totally missing in my house though, is mistletoe. That must be the problem!   No wonder I'm sitting here in the company of me, myself and I. With all these cute delivery guys from Fedex, UPS and the postal service, I've let numerous opportunities pass by, just by failing to put up mistletoe in the door way....still time. They work tomorrow too, and I'm still missing a couple of deliveries :-)

But Santa, if that fails, in addition to my wine and the winning lottery ticket, it wouldn't hurt to bring the perfect guy!  Just in case you're still working on my list...

Merry Christmas Baby!

I would sing for you, but Bruce Springsteen does it so much better!!  Wishing you all a very Merry Merry Christmas!!  Hopefully you all ended up on the good list :-)

All I Want for Christmas...

Thanksgiving weekend, as I was still feeling a bit like the stuffed turkey from over indulging in the Thanksgiving dinner, and leftovers, I spent some time thinking about what I really am, or should be thankful for.  It is the season.

Every year, I start around November, as the holiday decorations start popping up around town, by digging a little deeper in my spiritual self, giving thanks for my friends and family, opportunities I have received, and the grace of God that I feel surround me. Then I move on to Christmas, and truly celebrate the reason for the season.  As much as I enjoy the decorations, food and gift giving,  Christmas has always been a very important spiritual season for me; a time when I spend much more time than usual reflecting over my faith, my beliefs and my spiritual well being.  However, this year, I've struggled to find any joy in preparing for the holidays at all. 

Unlike most who complain about the stress and strains of the holidays, I usually love it all.  This time a year is actually my favorite time for shopping, because every purchase is to brighten someone else's day. It has happened that I got so wrapped up in finding the perfect gift at the mall, that I forgot where my car was...(OK, maybe that is a blond thing...) This year on the other hand, I can't get out of the stores fast enough, and the "perfect" has not been a very big focus.  I really just want to get them wrapped and out of my closet.

As I've gone through the motions and put up decoration, baked cookies, sent out cards and presents, attended holiday shows with the kids and so on, John Grisham's book, "Skipping Christmas" has played in the back of my head and all the time seemed like a good idea. Obviously not an option with kids, but one can wish. 

Photo by Michael Marcol / Freedigitialphotos.net

Then, as the "scroogeness" was really setting in, and all I could think of was getting the holidays done and over with, a couple of phone calls, a good hug and innocent words of a child changed it all.  

 "Mortal! We Spirits of Christmas do not live only one day of our year. We live the whole three-hundred and sixty-five. So is it true of the Child born in Bethlehem. He does not live in men's hearts one day of the year, but in all days of the year. You have chosen not to seek Him in your heart. Therefore, you will come with me and seek Him in the hearts of men of good will." Spirit of Christmas Present, A Christmas Carol

A friend of a friend lost her battle with cancer, leaving behind children whose Christmas cannot be made perfect, and whose table will have an empty seat.  My Christmas will be perfect as my house is filled with family.  Count my blessings, I know all too well how hard it is to lose a parent right before the holidays.  Let me make sure my children know how much I love them, and that my biggest gift is to spend my time with them. Nothing beats a good "squeezy hug" accompanied by "you are the best mom!  I love you!"

Phone calls from girlfriends who are going through some hard times, made my heart ache for them, as there is so little I can do other than listen. But how lucky I am to be one they feel close enough to and trust enough to confide in.  Count my blessings. I know all to well how precious life can be and how fast it can end. Let me make sure they know how much I value and enjoy our friendships, and how much joy they bring to my life.  

Little advent gifts have been under our tree since December 1st. Seeing the excitement it brings to my kids every day, even though they know very well there is probably nothing that cost more than a dollar or two, I can't wait to see their little faces as they open their presents on Christmas. Even more fun is their doubt that Santa is real, but "just to play it safe, let me send him a letter". Count my blessings. I am able to give them gifts, and they receive many more from family. More importantly, they have no bigger worries in life than whether or not they have been good enough to get what they want for Christmas.

"There is never enough time to do or say all the things that we would wish. The thing is to try to do as much as you can in the time that you have. Remember Scrooge, time is short, and suddenly, you're not here any more." The Ghost of Christmas Present, A Christmas Carol

Obviously I have found my Christmas spirit.  Though I'm not so concerned about "perfect" this year.  I'll survive some dust and clutter (someone said dust-bunnies are the angels' slippers, so lets not leave them with cold feet!), and will redefine the perfect holiday.  Surrounded by family and friends who make my life so full and enjoyable, who are there to support me through hard times, and share laughs with me during good times.  Who could care less what my house looks like, because spending time together is what is important. Good food (I'm cooking...that could be a stretch...), great friends, wonderful family and time to truly enjoy each others company.  That is all I want for Christmas. Count my blessings - it is what I will have.

All American, But Not If You Are Muslim?

I was really going to stay out of this one, but when I saw who filed the complaint causing Lowe's to pull their commercials on the new reality show "All American Muslim", I just couldn't help myself. 

The show airing on TLC, "is an eight-part series that follows five Muslim families living in Dearborn, Michigan. Each episode offers an intimate look at the customs and celebrations, misconceptions and conflicts these families face outside and within their own community," TLC said in the description. 

With so many misconceptions surrounding this religion, and  the "media-Muslims" getting all the attention and making it worse for the many millions of ordinary, peace loving Muslims, it sounds like a good idea, doesn't it? But no, not to right-wing Christians. 

According to CNN, the controversy, and Lowe's decision to pull their spots, followed a complaint by the Florida Family Association. The group warned Lowe's in a letter that the show "is attempting to manipulate Americans into ignoring the threat of jihad and to influence them to believe that being concerned about the jihad threat would somehow victimize these nice people in this show."  

  

According to their website, Florida Family Association is standing up to "a coalition of people with an assortment of strong viewpoints who stand against traditional, God fearing Americans. This bloc of people is commonly referred to as secular progressives." From the information they list, these progressives apparently include everybody who is not right wing christian - and especially those who tolerate/accept homosexuality, believes in equal rights for gays and lesbians, thinks pornography is OK, believes in women's right to choose, believes in freedom of religion and speech, or as they say "fundamental socialists, who are hostile toward Christianity and traditional American values.  They are committed to dramatically changing America to look like the godless, socialistic Western Europe."

Obviously David Caton and his followers have made up their mind about homosexuality being horribly wrong, to the point where they seem to be afraid "to catch it" if they get too close, or actually got to know a gay person.  Now it seems they feel the same way about Muslims.  In a country  built on religious freedom, it doesn't seem to matter  to FFA that  these are "All AMERICAN Muslims." FFA seems afraid we may actually learn something about their culture and thereby not shun all Muslims in our fear of jihad. 

I checked their site for a campaign targeting "The Sister Wives" - a man having sex with and living with more than one wife must certainly be considered "hostile toward Christianity and traditional American values", I thought, but they seem to be OK with that concept. Maybe because the family (or as I like to say, family with the extra three women he is cheating on his wife with) in that show is based on some odd interpretation of the Bible, not the Koran?

Photo by David Castillo Dominci/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Now I wonder, what would America look like if we were like the "godless, socialistic Western Europe".  Most of those countries have state religions, yet it seems they not only allow religious freedom, but also monetarily support other religions. They also teach religion in public schools (!)  What a concept!  Teaching children about other religions so that they may actually learn about, and thus learn to accept each others cultures and backgrounds? Why don't we do that here? I'm sadly afraid that would not work in America.  As much as right wing Christians seem to want the right to pray and practice their religion in schools, I am convinced they would push to have only Christianity taught in school, as we of course would not want our school system to manipulate American children into ignoring the threat of jihad and to influence them to believe that being concerned about the jihad threat would somehow victimize the other kids in their class...

MoveOn.org also ran the story of Lowe's pulling their ad on the show, and I am borrowing one of the comments to their article which really says it all:  I'm a Conservative, Tea party, Republican and I kinda have to agree that Lowe's made a bad call in pulling that ads. I honestly don't see how this show can be manipulative and hiding Islamic agenda. The group that filed such a claim with Lowe's should retract their statement or complaint. I mean come on this show is just showing a Muslim American perspective. Key WORD is AMERICAN!!!  ... To my many Conservative friends on Move on there is no way to defend this. This group that filed the claim filed a baseless claim. I do encourage people to watch this show and see America from a different perspective. I mean we are all Americans here ... Progressives and Conservatives alike have one thing in common that no one can argue against. Were all Americans...!!!!

As a footnote, I want to say I don't disagree with everything FFA does, nor do I think they are all ignorant,  bad people.  I think their fight to stop pornography is good, as I too find the treatment of women in that industry so degrading, and I certainly support their campaigns to have what might appear as honor killings properly investigated by the police.  That being said, I wish FFA and their supporters would be more open minded and see that not everything "different" is bad, and that they may actually find common ground with some of the groups they continuously fight against, if they just bothered to listen. Religion should be the basis for creating peace, not conflicts and wars!

If I'm Rich and Successful, You're Too Old!

Here I was regaining faith in men, and their ability to see beyond looks; thinking they, as most women do, are seeking a full partner to share their lives with. And then while hanging out with friends and their friends, this guy tells the story of him and his friends going out for lunch, and him making the remark that "if my business takes off now, and I strike it rich, you will be too old to be my friends". What?  He goes on to say that (even though he is in his mid-forties), if he had the money, he would live it up with the 24 and younger crowd...I thought he was kidding, but he made it quite clear he was not, and all I could think, was "what a sad example of a man..."

What on earth would be fulfilling about hanging out with a crowd of people 20 years younger?  Would you really want to be known as the "old guy"?  I get that 24 year old women most often have a much better body, and of course look younger than the 40+ crowd, but I just don't understand how not having anything in common could make for a good match. I could see excitement for about a week or so before it would get boring and then annoying....young, pretty girl and much older, not so attractive man...yep, he must have money...why not go for a healthy, good looking, well established woman closer to your own age?  First of all, you'd avoid all the stigma surrounding dating the much younger women, second, it might actually evolve to a real relationship, and third, she would probably not date you just for your money. I told the guy this, but he didn't care.  Good looking 24 year old, that's the dream...

Please tell me this one was the odd one out, and not the norm when it comes to the 40+ men? I know women too date younger men, but the term "sugar daddy" is much more widely used than "sugar mama"... yes I know, older women would be considered a cougar regardless of whether she had money or not. My point is, I have never heard a woman make the statement that if she was wealthy, she would date younger men.  

For me, the cutoff on a man's age, is when I want to lie about my own age.  I am usually the proud "40+ and fabulous",  but having gone out with a certain someone whom I knew was younger, just not how much younger, I found myself totally eluding the answer to the age question. He knows I am older than him, and doesn't care. I on the other hand would be stuck on "I'm 30 something" until he caught up to my age...It doesn't really matter how cute or nice he is, or how much money or success career wise, I might have. If it makes me lie about something so basic as my age, he is too young! 

So here's to the 40+ crowd.  Self confident, successful (or getting there), sure of themselves and their beliefs, sexy (yes we are!), and fabulous.  That's who I want to mingle with, whether poor or rich.

Am I asking too much?

Yes, I'm picky when it comes to men. Why shouldn't I be?  Being single is not a bad thing, and I'm not giving it up for just anybody....

So when this popped in my inbox, I found it quite fitting. Maybe I've gone a little overboard, but why settle for less....?

Holiday Pictures

It is the season, and although I haven't gotten very much done so far, the Christmas cards (from those who want to make the rest of us look bad...) has started to arrive.  So having seen a fair share of the awkward photos and cards over the years, let's take a look and try to avoid some of these mistakes:

Aaahhh....OK?

Really?? They didn't notice until after the pictures were done?

OK, I have to admit, I find all the crying babies on Santa's lap funny. I wonder if we were just as scared of him as today's kids?

...and let's all sing along....

I wonder what her mom and dad said when this arrived in the mail box.

Some times, just regular, store bought cards might be a better idea....

really!!

 

 

Then of course there are all the holiday photos that has to be taken at every event.  Apparently dressing appropriately and behaving nicely is not always enough to avoid those really awkward moments:

Let this serve as the warning to really pay attention to where you stand in the picture....especially at the office party.