All I Want for Christmas...

Thanksgiving weekend, as I was still feeling a bit like the stuffed turkey from over indulging in the Thanksgiving dinner, and leftovers, I spent some time thinking about what I really am, or should be thankful for.  It is the season.

Every year, I start around November, as the holiday decorations start popping up around town, by digging a little deeper in my spiritual self, giving thanks for my friends and family, opportunities I have received, and the grace of God that I feel surround me. Then I move on to Christmas, and truly celebrate the reason for the season.  As much as I enjoy the decorations, food and gift giving,  Christmas has always been a very important spiritual season for me; a time when I spend much more time than usual reflecting over my faith, my beliefs and my spiritual well being.  However, this year, I've struggled to find any joy in preparing for the holidays at all. 

Unlike most who complain about the stress and strains of the holidays, I usually love it all.  This time a year is actually my favorite time for shopping, because every purchase is to brighten someone else's day. It has happened that I got so wrapped up in finding the perfect gift at the mall, that I forgot where my car was...(OK, maybe that is a blond thing...) This year on the other hand, I can't get out of the stores fast enough, and the "perfect" has not been a very big focus.  I really just want to get them wrapped and out of my closet.

As I've gone through the motions and put up decoration, baked cookies, sent out cards and presents, attended holiday shows with the kids and so on, John Grisham's book, "Skipping Christmas" has played in the back of my head and all the time seemed like a good idea. Obviously not an option with kids, but one can wish. 

Photo by Michael Marcol / Freedigitialphotos.net

Then, as the "scroogeness" was really setting in, and all I could think of was getting the holidays done and over with, a couple of phone calls, a good hug and innocent words of a child changed it all.  

 "Mortal! We Spirits of Christmas do not live only one day of our year. We live the whole three-hundred and sixty-five. So is it true of the Child born in Bethlehem. He does not live in men's hearts one day of the year, but in all days of the year. You have chosen not to seek Him in your heart. Therefore, you will come with me and seek Him in the hearts of men of good will." Spirit of Christmas Present, A Christmas Carol

A friend of a friend lost her battle with cancer, leaving behind children whose Christmas cannot be made perfect, and whose table will have an empty seat.  My Christmas will be perfect as my house is filled with family.  Count my blessings, I know all too well how hard it is to lose a parent right before the holidays.  Let me make sure my children know how much I love them, and that my biggest gift is to spend my time with them. Nothing beats a good "squeezy hug" accompanied by "you are the best mom!  I love you!"

Phone calls from girlfriends who are going through some hard times, made my heart ache for them, as there is so little I can do other than listen. But how lucky I am to be one they feel close enough to and trust enough to confide in.  Count my blessings. I know all to well how precious life can be and how fast it can end. Let me make sure they know how much I value and enjoy our friendships, and how much joy they bring to my life.  

Little advent gifts have been under our tree since December 1st. Seeing the excitement it brings to my kids every day, even though they know very well there is probably nothing that cost more than a dollar or two, I can't wait to see their little faces as they open their presents on Christmas. Even more fun is their doubt that Santa is real, but "just to play it safe, let me send him a letter". Count my blessings. I am able to give them gifts, and they receive many more from family. More importantly, they have no bigger worries in life than whether or not they have been good enough to get what they want for Christmas.

"There is never enough time to do or say all the things that we would wish. The thing is to try to do as much as you can in the time that you have. Remember Scrooge, time is short, and suddenly, you're not here any more." The Ghost of Christmas Present, A Christmas Carol

Obviously I have found my Christmas spirit.  Though I'm not so concerned about "perfect" this year.  I'll survive some dust and clutter (someone said dust-bunnies are the angels' slippers, so lets not leave them with cold feet!), and will redefine the perfect holiday.  Surrounded by family and friends who make my life so full and enjoyable, who are there to support me through hard times, and share laughs with me during good times.  Who could care less what my house looks like, because spending time together is what is important. Good food (I'm cooking...that could be a stretch...), great friends, wonderful family and time to truly enjoy each others company.  That is all I want for Christmas. Count my blessings - it is what I will have.