Leap Year

Wishing all leaplings a very Happy Birthday!  May your day be filled with joy!

Photo by Digitalart/Freedigitalphotos.net

To all women who will use "their right" this special day to propose to their men, may there be a beautiful engagement ring on your finger at the end of the day, rather than a glove!

For the rest of you, enjoy your Wednesday!  Weekend is right around the corner!

Skank Police

Another sign I am getting older!!  Ms. Goody Two Shoes here couldn't stop herself this weekend, and turned in to the skank police....But these "girls" deserved it.  

We were enjoying our girls' night out at what we thought was a decent club, with a more mature crowd, when two younger women decided to jump up a ledge and dance. Which is fine....I have to admit I have danced on top of bars back in the days, so who am I to judge?  

However, after having one flash her crotch at us in her much too short dress, not only showing everything under the dress, but also the layers of cellulite on the thighs; and the other thrusting her hips in this guy's face - and him responding by pretending to lick her, we were so grossed out I had to say something.  

And say something I did!  I told the dress girl to please pull her dress down and cover her crotch and cellulite, and I looked at the other one and like an old, prude aunt asked "How old are you?  Will you please behave yourself? You are an embarrassment to women!"  They kind of looked at me in disbelief - I guess they were expecting compliments. Sorry, I was fresh out of those!  Then I told the gross guy to please save mankind from ever having to see that kind of behavior in public again, turned on my heal and went back to dancing with my friends. They looked around a little worried, wondering if there were anyone else that didn't meet my standard of approval. There probably was, but they escaped my new found need to express my opinion of their skankiness that night...

Photo by photostock/Freedigitialphotos.net

Forty-something is a great age! Five years ago, I would never have gone up to a stranger to express my disapproval of their behavior.  Not in a million years.  I still have filters.  I don't just walk up to strangers to tell them what is on my mind, but when I see behavior like this, I guess the mother in me comes out.  If my daughter ever behaved like that at a club or a party, I would smack her silly - I don't care if she was 25 or older. If you want to behave like that, do it in a strip club where it is expected and you get paid, not at a club where you end up just being the skank dancing on the table (then again, if a daughter of mine ever decided to work in a strip club, there would be a very lengthy discussion where she would be on the losing end from the beginning!).

I'm not planning on speaking my mind freely to anyone and everyone, but this time it actually felt good to say something and not just wrinkle my nose in disapproval.  Those two needed to hear it, I thought, and at  this point, I really don't care if it truly is my place to say something or not. If I have something to say, it will come out :-)

9-year Old Dies After Punishment

One of the most senseless stories I've read this week! 

According to Yahoo News, little Savannah Hardin was forced by her stepmother and grandmother to run - for THREE HOURS - after lying about taking a candy bar.  Severely dehydrated, she had a seizure, and later died as a result of the punishment.

I am all for physical activity, and I am all for children learning consequences of their actions, but it should all be proportionate to their age, ability and severity of their actions.  To force a 9 year old to run for three hours?  With no water?  How on earth did they think that would end well?

The 27-year old stepmother and 46-year old grandmother face murder charges and are being held on $500,000 bond. Reading stories like this, I wish people could be charged with stupidity as well!!

You can read more about this story here.

The Power of Friendship

I woke up with a smile today, knowing that in just a few hours, my best friend is coming to visit.  I can't wait to see her, spend time together doing anything and everything, long nights catching up on each others  lives, sharing opinions about just about everything, and just enjoying each others company. It doesn't matter how far apart we live, or how seldom we speak to each other.  Our friendship is one of those that even if we spend months apart, we pick up right where we left off.

"You can't stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes." - Winnie The Pooh

You can define success in life any which way you want, but too often it is measured in dollars and cents.  However, no one is richer than those who have friends to share life's little pleasures with.  Not the kind of friends who are only there when life is good, but gone when you really could use a kind word or a shoulder to cry on.  But the ones who stick with you through the good and bad; who share in your laughter when you are happy, and are there for you when life seems unbearable; the ones who don't judge, but lend a listening ear and advice when you ask for it - and not when you don't; the ones who let you make your own mistakes - because who are they to decide if you will be successful or not if you don't try?  The ones you can call in the middle of the night, even after you are all grown up, because you just really, really need to talk; the ones who love you when you have forgotten to love yourself.  Those kind of friends make life worth living!

So here's to best friends!  Make sure yours knows how special she is in your life!

Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month February 2012

This year, President Barack Obama declared February as National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month. He said "the consequences of dating violence -- spanning impaired development to physical harm -- pose a threat to the health and well-being of teens across our Nation, and it is essential we come together to break the cycle of violence that burdens too many of our sons and daughters.." He called upon all Americans to "support efforts in their communities and schools, and in their own families, to empower young people to develop healthy relationships throughout their lives and to engage in activities that prevent and respond to teen dating violence" (source, Day One)

The statistics are still outrageous, and we should all do something, if nothing else, sign a petition to strengthen the laws protecting the victims and forcing the batterer to seek treatment.  The Federal Dating Violence Policy - Violence Against Women's Act (VAWA), first introduced in 1994, was reauthorized in 2000 and 2005, and is now before Congress again.  A bipartisan bill has  been introduced to strengthen and reauthorize VAWA.  Read here what you can do to get involved and ensure it is passed.

Below are a listing of web pages with both information regarding teen dating violence and ways you can get involved to help:


Day One

Break the Cycle  You can also find them on Facebook here

Love is Respect

All our children deserve to be in non-violent, loving relationships.  Let's do our part to ensure they do!

Happy Valentine's Day!

 

Wishing you all a very happy Valentine's Day!

Educating the Whole Child

As many of you, I watched the Grammy Awards last night, catching most of the performances, but not paying too much attention to who actually won the awards. With exception of Chris Brown (sorry, he is still on my shit list for his behavior on Good Morning America...), I enjoyed all the performances.  Adele was outstanding, but just as impressive, was Jennifer Hudson with her tribute to Whitney Houston! Wow! I wanted to give her a standing ovation when she finished the song!

Probably a sign that I am getting old,  but what really stuck with me, was Neil Portnow's presentation.  As the CEO/Academy President talked about the Grammy Foundation and their programs, the importance of music and arts education, and not least, the support of current and future talents, both musically and as we heard, with personal problems, I was so happy to see them giving him so much time to share this message!  

Where we year after year see cuts in the education budgets, and the schools being forced to cut everything but "the essentials", it is good to see such a large organization, with so many well known supporters, working towards music and arts being an integrated part of every school.  Because, as Mr. Portnow said, "Exposure to the arts cannot be optional. It's a cultural necessity in our country and deserves everyone's enthusiastic support."

Amen to that!  I am so sick of politicians and school officials caring only about test scores and labeling the schools good or bad based solely on these scores.  I dare say, the quality of the education our children is receiving is sorely lacking when test scores is the only measurement.  Life is about so much more than science, reading, writing and math!  

Photo by Luigi Diamanti/Freedigitalphotos.net

We can doodle on paper, sing songs at home and watch cartoons with the kids...that does not constitute arts!   Exposing children to different types of music, from classical to hip hop; teaching them both to sing and play, and read music, not only gives them a great sense of accomplishment, but gives them skills they can use the rest of their lives, whether it is just to sing or play for fun at home, or to build a career in music. The enormity of a theater - it doesn't really matter what the show is, has such an impact on a young child.  Watching a child living themselves right in to the story taking place on stage, is almost better than watching the show itself. What impact do you suppose them actually being on stage, and part of the play would have?  Learning to use proper techniques, proportions and colors to create and express what they want on paper, again, a great sense of accomplishment, and skills they can use for the rest of their lives, whether for fun or professionally. 

Photo by Simon Howden/Freedigitialphotos.net

 Obviously most of us do not end up with a career in the arts. I guess that is where so many oppose us using tax dollars on incorporating it in our children's education.  However, exposure to arts have proven to have a much bigger impact than just skills within music, visual or creative arts.  According to Ehow.com, music and arts also improves the following skills:

• Reading - Statistics show an understanding of music improves reading skills
• Mental Development - Music has a positive effect on mental reasoning.  
• Math - Music students consistently perform well in math, regardless of socioeconomic status
• Behavior - Music and art in the classroom in combination with academic learning produces favorable results.
• Creativity - It is indicated that students with more involved  arts instructions, develop a higher level of creative thinking and open mindedness.

For more details, read their article here.

I hope that through their work, the Grammy Foundation along with other great organizations as Children's Music Workshop, will convince our government and school officials of the importance of exposure to the arts for all children. I also hope that the number of adults supporting arts education in the schools will increase dramatically, (according to Ehow.com, only 41% see it as important today) and that it will be made a priority along with the reading, writing, science and math. 

As adults we consistently talk about "thinking outside the box" to find solutions to problems, to better  streamline work, to create new procedures and policies.  Wouldn't it be great if our children, through their education, learned creative thinking through their arts projects, thereby not being afraid to "think outside the box",  gained the confidence to present their ideas from having been on a stage in a play, and not least, grew up with a very fulfilling appreciation for both music and arts that will probably stay with them for the rest of their lives.  That is what I wish for my kids!  Let the whole child be educated!!

 

Dream as if You Will Live Forever, Live as if You Will Die Tomorrow

As the music industry, and us fans, saw yet another great performer die much too young, I, as  I expect many others did, took a close look at my own life, my own accomplishments - or lack thereof, and thought; "what if I died tomorrow?  How would I be remembered? And how fast would I be forgotten?"

Whitney Houston, in my opinion, the best female singer in our generation, leaves the legacy of her music behind.  For a while, she seemed to have it all, until drug addiction and her turbulent marriage to Bobby Brown seemed to take over the headlines. The pitfall of fame, perhaps?  The seemingly happy, vibrant star we had watched for years, all of a sudden strung out on drugs, behaving strangely and unable to sing. It was so sad!  On the other hand, it was very nice to see her make a comeback in 2009 and yet again be entertained by her incredible voice.  I pictured last night, how she now sings in Heaven....the angels will never again sound the same.  I hope they will enjoy her voice as much as we did!

Gone at 48.  That is just a few years away for me.  I certainly haven't sold 55 million records (not even 1!), made millions of dollars, or really done any other "big thing", that anyone outside of my family will ever know of, or remember me for.   Most of us wont.  Most of us will leave this world with just our immediate community knowing, or caring, that we are no longer amongst the living.  It is when they don't care, we may consider we have failed.

It is in our every day living we create our legacy.  Amongst the people that we care about most. We don't have to do big things in life to leave cherished memories. We just have to live.

Crush On a Porn Star

Having a crush on celebrities is a part of growing up. Seriously, I still joke about having celebrity crushes.  But I pray that my daughter sticks with Justin Bieber, Taylor Lautner and so on; the clean cut, "nice" guys, and not a porn star.  

Yes, you read that right.  Teenage girls apparently now have crushes on porn stars...or more specifically one porn star.  25 year old James Deen, who now has American teenage girls following him, searching him up on his blog, Twitter, and Tumblr, and trading pictures with him like he was, well, Justin Bieber.

 

What makes him so special?  Apparently he seems to be the "guy next door" who is approachable, and not the usual porn star, who according to one girl interviewed by ABC News are "guys I am not even close to being attracted to" (and I just wonder how many porn movies has she watched....??).

Deen, who has starred in over 4,000 porn movies, is far from a mother-in-law's dream...especially with his statements that underage girls watching porn "is not necessarily a bad thing".  Are you kidding?  Now, I have to admit I have very limited experience with watching porn movies (and frankly have no desire to see any more), but the whole industry to me, seems so degrading to women. Yes, I understand that women for the most part become the stars in this industry, but not for any other accomplishment than how they have sex.  There is no plot to these movies, nor any romance, or anything else that goes in to a relationship. They are just distorted fantasies about having sex.  Why on earth would we want our teenage girls to learn from these movies and think that this is how it should be?  That sex in any imaginable way, with whomever, is OK? And why on earth would we want our teenage boys growing up, thinking this is what they can expect?

I am just shaking my head and hoping that my kids never buy in to this trend. As dumb, stupid and old fashioned as I will get; being their mother, when they become teenagers, I hope they will still continue to come to me with questions. And that they will listen when I tell them how they deserve to be treated, and what others should expect from them.  As my one friend said; "it usually turns out better than we think it will".  I really hope she is right!!

Is Karen Handel to Blame for Komen's Decision to Stop Funding Planned Parenthood?

There has been a flurry of news stories, blog posts, and emails regarding Susan G. Komen Foundation's recent announcement they would no longer provide funds to Planned Parenthood. The announcement followed the group's decision to no longer fund groups who are under investigation by federal, state or local government.  That is part of being in business for Planned Parenthood, so this effectively ends their decades long relationship.

I along with at least 300,000 others, have signed petitions urging the Susan G Komen Foundation to reevaluate their decision.  I've seen some comments applauding the decision, as Planned Parenthood (PP) does perform and/or facilitate abortions; however, the funds given by Susan G Komen has specifically been for their "cancer screening and prevention services", and  PP cannot use the funds towards their abortion services. So why on earth they at this point would choose to no longer fund breast cancer screenings, biopsies etc. for poor and under-insured women who otherwise will not have these services available, if it is not politically motivated, is beyond me.

Karen Handel, VP of Public Policy for Susan G. Komen and "lifelong conservative republican" tweeted the following:

No, that doesn't seem political motivated at all....For more information on Handel, see this post in The Raw Story. 

...and I just have to say it. No one is "pro-abortion". No one wishes to have an abortion. But having the choice, due to circumstances and/or health reasons, should be available for all women! We can argue the point as much as we want. The fact is that we either provide sanitary, legal ways to provide the option of an abortion, or we go back to the backstreet butch doctors. Which one would you like to see your daughter be treated by, if she ever ended up with an unwanted pregnancy? And should we wish to further lower the number of unwanted pregnancies, thus lowering the number of abortions, let's make sure all kids growing up actually learns how to protect themselves!

OK, let me get off the soap box!  Now as for Planned Parenthood, what services do they provide?

Audited results of Planned Parenthood Budget Breakdown:
=======================================…
Cancer Screening and Prevention — 16 percent of services in 2009
Contraception — 35 percent of services in 2009
STI/STD Testing and Treatment — 35 percent of services in 2009
Other Women’s Health Services (Pregnancy test, Pre-Natal) – 10 percent of services in 2009

Abortion Services — 3 percent of services in 2009 (NON-Federal Money)

97% of their services are not related to abortions!  Sadly, if Susan G Komen does not reverse their decision, as many of their own local chapters have spoken out against, I for one, will no longer support their charity, but will give my money directly to Planned Parenthood instead!