Living Life Without Excuses

Friday evening I was hanging out at a local bar having drinks with friends, and listening to a pretty good local band.  I tried my best to stay involved in the conversation at the table, but spent a fair amount of time text flirting with someone who obviously was not there, and picking on the people around me. 

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One woman's feet were so funky, I wondered why on earth she was showing them off in open toe shoes when the weather was perfect for boots that would hide the fact her toes were going in every direction. Another one had on an outfit better fitted for a 22 year old, and I had a great deal of fun having my friends rate it on a scale from 1 to cougar. Lets not forget my comments about the fake boobs we bet on how many darts it would take to pop, or the poor man's sad choice of color combination....And so my night went on with my immature, not so nice, game. Picking on strangers didn't make me feel any better about myself, and I'm sure, if they had heard me, would probably hurt their feelings. So needless to say, not my proudest moment.  Neither was the text flirting, but it was all a great, well needed, little escape from reality, and (I hope) we didn't hurt anyone's feelings. 

Reality hit hard Saturday morning though,  as I sucked down three glasses of water, wondering what I was thinking staying out so late....some things apparently do change after 40.  My weekend to do list was long, and come Sunday, it still was.  We proved Saturday that you can successfully waste away a whole day doing absolutely nothing - and enjoy it!!  

Sunday morning, the house was still dusty; the laundry still in the hampers; the kitchen cabinets still had mismatched knobs, as I had only put on a couple of the new ones; I was nowhere closer to getting my taxes done; the reports I was working on were still as incomplete as they were Friday.  Oh well.  Armed with pizza, popcorn and soda, I thoroughly enjoyed my Saturday watching a Disney movie, then, after a nap, Bodyguard (in memory of Whitney of course!!), topped with a couple of hours of Friends reruns. Somewhere in there I read the first chapter of my new book, and made a couple of phone calls, but I don't think I left the sofa for anything other than getting more snacks in the kitchen and an occasional trip to the rest room.  It really was a beautiful day!  So then, why did I not feel any better when Sunday rolled around?

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Well, my little escape from reality didn't quite change my reality.  I guess that kind of sums it up. It might have been fun while it lasted, but it certainly did not get me anywhere closer to accomplishing what I needed, and I pretty much wasted the rest of the weekend as a result. By the end of the weekend, my little inner voice was screaming "grow up". I guess it was right.  I have no intentions of giving up the little I have of social life outside of kids' activities, but truly, when the intention is to escape my life, rather than enjoy it, it's time for some serious adjustments. 

So here we go. Off to a new, fresh start. You can only make excuses for so long, before you realize that the only thing stopping you from accomplishing what you want and reaching your goals, is .... yep, the excuses.