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Monday, May 21, 2012

Is 40 too Late to Reinvent Yourself?

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I love listening to children speak about all they are going to be and do when they grow up. They're going to be doctors and lawyers, superstars, Olympic champions, NFL and NBA players; they're going to climb the highest mountain, invent the coolest stuff, be the toughest soldier that ever lived.  They're going to live in the nicest house, have the fastest car, go on awesome vacations - and nothing is going to stop them.

On the quite opposite side is the 40+ crowd who show up for work each morning, hang out at the coffee machine to complain about their boss, a client or a coworker, or share more bad news about their personal lives.  The ones that seem to have a really pitiful life that they don't see any chance of ever changing, and who within a few minutes will manage to kill any hope you may have had of having a great day at work. 

The big difference?  Children have dreams.  The other crowd think it's too late to do anything about their miserable situation. They have given up, accepted their "destiny", and just go through the motions hoping they will make it to retirement so they can spend a few more years complaining before they die.  Luckily not everyone gives up.

Nobody is more refreshing, than someone who has something good to say about anyone, who despite going through hard times, finds something to be thankful for, and who sees the good in every situation.  I am not talking about the annoyingly, overly perky person, but rather that good to the bone, sincere one.  Those who make strangers feel welcome, and just spread joy with their attitude and gratitude.  I love those people!  That's who did not stop dreaming!  That is who I want to be.

I get up in the morning thinking today is a new chance to make good changes to my life. Today I have another chance to right some of the wrongs in my life, and take another step towards where I want to be. But I have learned not everyone does the same.  Apparently many think that because I have passed 40, it is time to "settle".  Settle for what?  Misery and mediocracy?  To many, having worked for so long in the same career, is the reason you should continue doing it.  Especially when you have passed 40. But I have to continue working for quite a few years still. Retirement is not right around the corner, so why on earth would I want to continue doing something that makes me miserable for that much longer?  With that attitude, I should have stayed in a bad marriage too - then my misery could have been complete. I could have joined the complainers in the break room and we could have had our daily pity party and just set the tone for the day....every miserable day....for the rest of my working life. I don't think so.  I refuse!

Instead I will continue to dream.  I will continue to think that I can do everything I set my mind to - even when there seems to be an enormous amount of obstacles to overcome and very little progress.  I will feed in to my kids' optimistic views of their futures and all that they are going to accomplish and list my dreams and goals right along with theirs.

And who really decided that forty-something is old?  We're barely halfway through our working years.  There is still time to become whatever one wants to; maybe with exception of supermodel and pop-star, but who knows, singing grandma's seem to be on the rise...

Jokes aside. Looking back at the first half of my own life, I realize I made a lot of mistakes; some worse than others, some that had a bigger impact than others, but making bad decisions in my younger years, does not mean I should spend the second half of my life just accepting that "this is the way it is". Instead, I will take advantage of every opportunity to make my life what I want it to be. Just to be clear, this is me growing up, and taking charge of my life.  Not me having a meltdown because I passed 40.  I have realized that life is too short to just go through the motions, that time is precious, and that I really should make the most of my life.

 I probably; no,  I guarantee I will make many more mistakes, but as long as I don't let that stop me, that is OK. The one thing I do not want, is to look  back at my life and regret that I let chances pass by, because I was too old to give it a try. To hell with that. I may fail miserably, but at least I gave it a shot. We live and learn, and mistakes usually makes the best stories. During my golden years, I want to be the one with the best stories!!

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