The Power of Kindness

Saturday I went out with a friend for a couple of drinks. While walking through downtown, we passed a homeless man sitting on the curb asking us for money.  I normally do not give them money, but this guy struck me as different, and instead of saying I didn't have any and just walk along, I looked at him and told him I would give him money if he could explain to me why he was now in this position.  

Seth, as I learned his name was, stood up and told me he was a college graduate, he had a good career in the insurance industry and also competed in martial arts for 20 years. He was happily married with children, when he lost his job, and was unable to find a new one. As money got tight and he still couldn't find work, he lost faith in himself, his marriage fell apart and he finally just gave up. 

Photo by Aleksandr Kutsuyev/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 It wasn't quite the story I had expected. And certainly much more honesty than I had expected, so we continued talking.  We talked about not loosing faith, and never letting go of hopes and dreams. On the sidewalk in the midst of a busy bar district, we talked about what it would take for him to get his life back, resources that are available, and what he has to offer a prospective employer. As we talked, it shifted from me giving suggestions to him coming up with ideas. I looked at him and said; "Just don't  loose hope. Never lose hope", to which he answered, now with tears in his eyes; "It's hard not to when your whole life falls apart. But you have no idea how nice it is to be treated like a person. Thank you!"

“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.” 

Tao Te Ching

For all I know, Seth is crazy, and everything he told me were lies. However, I don't doubt that his self worth has been radically reduced when he spends his days begging for money.  Nor do I doubt that he is talked down to and disrespected on a regular basis. Maybe he enjoyed our conversation, or maybe he just chatted along to get money. I hope he will now think of the possibilities in life and start dreaming again. And I hope he will act on some of his ideas and start rebuilding his life.  But do I think our conversation was a life changing event for him?  No, even I am not that naive. However, I do believe that if he was met with kindness and genuine interest for his well being every day, then each day would be a stepping stone in rebuilding his life. 

My point is not for you to run out and strike up a conversation with a homeless person - although, I'm pretty sure if you do, it would make their day better; my point is that like Seth, so many people spend their days in utter loneliness, not being seen. Maybe the change we need to make in our society is to start caring about each other again.

We teach our children to be nice to each other, to share and to let everyone be included in their games, yet we get so  busy with out own lives, we could care less what our neighbor is going through because we don't want to intrude. We judge people by their cover and assume their own actions lead to their misfortunes - without ever taking the time to find out what truly happened.  We see people who need help, yet figure it is not our place to offer it and walk on by. Change it!  Lend a helping hand, a smile or a kind word.  When you greet your neighbor and ask how she is doing, be prepared to hear, and care about how she really is doing.  Lets get away from the "time is money" attitude, because caring is priceless.  

"Kindness is more than deeds. It is an attitude, an expression, a look, a touch.  It is anything that lifts another person."