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Tuesday, April 10, 2012

9 Deadly Words Used by Women

I guess it's true.  We don't always say what we mean; or we mean something completely different than you think we do. So here to help the men decipher our "code", are nine deadly words and phrases used by women (study them!):

1. Fine This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes If she is getting dressed, this is a half hour.  Five minutes is only five minutes when you have been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. 

3. Nothing This is the calm before the storm.  It means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing, usually end with fine. 

4. Go Ahead This is a dare, not a permission.  Don't do it!

5. Loud Sigh This is not actually a word,  but a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. This means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here arguing with you about nothing (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing)

6. That's OK This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man.  This means  she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. 

7. Thanks A woman is thanking you. Do not question (or faint). Just say "you're welcome". Do not make the mistake of confusing this with "Thanks a lot" - that is pure sarcasm, and she is not thanking you at all.  DO NOT say "you're welcome". That will bring on a "whatever". 

8. Whatever A woman's way of saying F*ck You! (My favorite phrase by the way...)

9. Don't Worry About It, I Got It Another dangerous statement meaning this is something a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing herself.  This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong?"  For the woman's response, refer to #3.

Well there you have it.  To spread peace and happiness, please share with your male friends.

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