Are you Dating Material or Just Dick?

My friend gave me the link to this blog Black Girls are Easy. She described the name of the blog as "interesting"; I on the other hand, find it to be ridiculous. But it's just a name, and reading his blog, I have to admit, he candidly provides a man's perspective on relationship issues...


However, his one post, Are you Wifey or Are You Pussy? deserves an answer, from a woman's perspective. I'm sure I'm older than the majority of his readers, but my age group makes up a large portion of the single women today, and we are raising the next generation of young women. So hear me out.


First of all, not all women want to be Wifey.  Frankly, quite a few of us who have been there and done that, do not want to go back. We're quite happy being single, and we don't need a man to be "complete". So I won't even talk about what it takes for a man to be husband material. That being said, it doesn't mean we don't want a man in our lives, we just want to control how much he gets to participate.

You may think you met the perfect girl, and that she is all in to you, but sadly, you may just be a dick.  Lets start with the obvious. If you met in a bar and have a one night stand; even if she wants to see you again, chances are, you are just a dick. You are satisfying her immediate needs/wants, and if it was good, lucky you, you get to do it again. That doesn't mean she wants you for more than sex. That, and to show you off to her girlfriends.  You will probably never meet any other friends than the ones she was with the night she met you, nor will you ever meet anyone in her family.

If she insists on meeting you out for your dates, or come to your place, and you still don't know where she lives after the third date...you are just a dick.  Women live by their intuition, and if she doesn't want you coming to her front door to pick her up, or bring her home after a date, you're definitely not dating material. She is just passing time with you until something better comes along.

When women go out showing it all off, they are usually not looking for dating material....I take that back. Some women still think that is how they will find their perfect man, but that is usually the ones that still feel like they need a man and/or are lacking the self confidence to see that they have much more to offer than their looks and what's between their legs.  Self confident, intelligent women will dress it all up and go out just to get the looks. To reinforce that they are still all that, and knowing that they are more.  She'll accept the free drinks and the compliments, and then leave the guys behind.  If she did leave with a man, they are going to his place, and she won't be there in the morning...sorry, he was just a dick.

Dating material is privy to the girl's home address. When he brings her home, he is invited inside - maybe not on the first date, but soon.  You have real conversations about things that matters, not just flirting and chit chat bullshit. You spend time actually doing something together. Her stopping by for an afternoon delight is not spending time together, that's just proof you're a dick.

Dating material is welcome to spend the night, because he is someone she wants to wake up next to. If she is making excuses for you to leave after she is satisfied, again, you're just a dick.  Even if you stayed through the night, if she's not happy you're still there in the morning, chances are you're just a dick. On the other hand, if she offers coffee and breakfast, you're probably well on your way to dating material.

Dating material gets to meet friends and family. She wants to know that he fits in with her crowd, because her friends will always be the best. He is included in her social plans, and she'll expect him to participate when she wants him to. I'm not saying she wants to control his every move, just when he is allowed to participate in her life. 

Bottom line is that in this day and age, women do not define themselves by their relationship with a man. Women are independent and handling all aspects of their lives quite well on their own, and we're raising our daughters to be the same way.  Having a man in our lives can be nice, but most of us are well beyond needing a man.  Dating takes effort, and frankly, many women are not willing to put forth the effort to make a longterm relationship work, hence they are quite happy with just dick.