This was shocking to me, but according to Yahoo News one in five teens are in relationships where they are physically abused by their partner. One in five!! And these are teenagers. Where did we go wrong?
Not all abusers are men, or in this instance, boys, but the statistics clearly show they are the majority. Where did they learn that it is OK to hit, slap or otherwise abuse their girlfriends? These statistics are sickening to me. As much focus as there has been on abuse the last few years, how can it be that 20% of dating teenagers still abuse their girlfriends?
After Rhianna so bravely told her story of being beaten by Chris Brown, I had hoped that more teenagers would look to her as a good example. That doesn't seem to have happened.
Obviously we have not only failed miserably in teaching the boys proper manners, but we have completely failed in teaching these girls self worth. I am not so blue eyed that I don't believe a fight between a boy- and girlfriend can escalate to become physical; although, I truly believe that it should never happen. But I do not understand why these girls think they have to stick around for more. Every girl should know that she deserves the best - and that does not include being beaten or abused psychologically. If she was unfortunate to end up in such a situation once; leave! Don't allow it to ever happen again!
Back in the days when I was 16, I dated a boy, who turned out to be a complete freak. Although he never physically hurt me, he was always playing mind games, and to a large extent, taking "ownership" of all my time. The whole break up was a weird session in itself, and he begged me to come back to him. Luckily I refused. However, the following weekend, he showed up at the party where I was. He was drunk as can be, and again begging me to come back to him. This time, when I refused, he pulled out a knife and threatened to kill himself. Normally, I would think, it would be easy to disarm a person that intoxicated; however, he also had a black belt in karate, so nobody was willing to take the chance of getting a good beating or getting stabbed. We ended up getting a hold of his brother, also with a black belt, who got the knife from him and calmed him down. By then, I of course was hysterical, but I will never forget his brother walking up to me and looking me straight in the eyes as he said: "You know this is all your fault. If you would just love him, this would have never happened!" If I was insecure in any way, I probably would have gone back to him. I would probably have felt responsible for the whole episode, as well as his ongoing well being. But bless my parents; they did a good job! Instead I looked his brother right back in the eyes and told him it was not my fault their whole family were freaks, turned my back and went back to the party, and never spoke to either of them again.
I didn't stop there though, but managed to make more bad relationship decisions in my life, and have on a couple of occasions ended up with black eyes. But I have never accepted it! Despite the incredible shame one feels as the victim in such a situation, I filed charges against the man (this was prior to the police being able to file the charges without the victim's consent), and demanded punishment. Not once have I ever stopped believing that I deserve the best!
I hope that as my children grow into their teens, that they too are secure enough in themselves to not accept anything but the best. That they treat others with respect, and don't allow anyone to treat them otherwise. I certainly hope that by then , these statistics have changed drastically for the better!
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